Snow, Trauma, and Grace
I did not do a thing this morning but wake up and notice. The snow had covered everything with its white elegance… with a welcoming grace and a sense of peace.
The world had been transformed! I put on my down coat, wool slouchy beanie hat, and gloves and walked in awe through the softness in what the snow had done to my world. My dog, Finley, was beside himself with exuberance.
The snow makes the world a softer place. It just does. Noises get muffled, trees and shrubs gently hold little pockets of white, the ground gets blanketed with light rather than the drab winter browns and greys, and kids are out on sleds, joyfully squealing as they propel down the hills, dodging trees.
The snow was a reminder of surprise and hope, beautifully juxtaposed with National Human Trafficking Awareness Month. This week after a survivors’ trauma-informed training I attended, it hit me that we are ALL survivors in need of trauma care. We have all encountered the effects of a world being “upside down and backwards”. We need someone who can listen well and attune. We need someone to know us, to give us a hug rather than a lecture, to assure us with their eyes that things will be okay, to pray for us, and on and on.
Most of us in that room were thinking of who we were being trained to care for, but I realized that I am also in need of being seen and known. I am in need of a kind and beautiful dusting of snow. We all are wounded and often unaware of how much we need this kind of connection and care.
What if the whole world just paid attention to how much need we have as individuals? How much grace and kindness we have NOT received? What would happen if the snow came down “out of nowhere” on our own hearts and we softened and received the beauty and care it offered, let it settle into the cracks in our hearts, the insecurities, the shame? THEN we might be able to face the losses, the disappointments, the heartache AND the joy that is all right here. THEN we might be able to see and know, and care for others with honesty and empathy. Trauma care might be a natural out pouring from our own healing.
One Sunday our pastor had us all turn to a neighbor and silently gaze into their eyes for a few seconds. Just the act of looking and paying attention sent resounding, uncomfortable giggles throughout our congregation. No talking was allowed but people had a difficult time with this and it was just plain awkward for the majority of us. But why is that? Why the shame? The uncomfortableness? Jesus is always with us and looking at us with a frightening amount of knowledge about who we are and with total delight. So why can’t we look at ourselves and each other in this way?
My new children’s book, The Cabin, will invite both you and your children to sink quietly into the beauty and rhythm of life. It is the kind of book that will allow you all to sit with your feelings as well as provide a way to be still and identify who you are, what you‘ve lost, and what you love. Reading the Cabin will be like snow falling on your soul…It will just make it softer and more beautiful. The Cabin may just help you with gazing into another’s eyes with empathy and understanding.
It may then propel you to go out and cover your neighbors, family, and world with more snow…Beautiful, intimate, and grace-filled snow.