Changes and Forgiveness
I began this blog as an invitation to come to readings of The Cabin and to ask if you might be interested in hosting an adult reading next month.
Scratch that! Just talked to my printer and all of my books are stuck in British Columbia for at least another week, maybe longer….there is no date expected for the shipment to be released, so I am stuck in the land of waiting for a hopeful May delivery. I was desiring The Cabin’s arrival to coincide with the Easter season which is a perfect time for this book to enter the world: The season of Lent, Easter, death, and resurrection. Even this change is a reminder of the waiting Jesus requires, especially during this time of year…
The Cabin was and is perfect for Easter season because it is all about the loss of something precious and the waiting for resurrection which comes in surprising and graceful ways.
An unusual relationship is formed between Keith and Cynthia and the hippies who come to their farm that summer to build a life (and a cabin!) on Hog’s Back Mountain amidst the maple trees. Keith and Cynthia share space with them, build lean-tos, listen to stories told by their new friends, and exchange gifts. It is innocent and very real. The next summer, when Keith and Cynthia return to the farm, they are expecting their friends to be there and are shocked when they discover the cabin was burned to a “shadow on the forest floor.” The hippies are safe but the loss is palpable. As the summers on the farm go by, there is “resurrection” in and around the shadow and Keith and Cynthia learn to embrace the loss, find joy, play, and beauty among the ashes.
We often do not consider what actually happened Easter weekend, but The Cabin slows you down to be IN it, to savor relationship, feel the loss, and take part in the rising from the ashes!
We are called to live in fellowship with Jesus and each other, We are called to live IN His resurrection and life. We are called to forgive as He did. But what we often do in forgiveness is skip over the bearing of suffering as Jesus did for us that Easter weekend and claim the resurrection.
We skip from Friday and His suffering/death, over Saturday and the darkness/ unknowing. We jump to Sunday for the “happy” part. We say things like, “Forgive and forget” and believe asking forgiveness should clear up everything. AND IT DOES, just not like we expect it to. Let me explain.
FRIDAY: Forgiveness has often been cheapened and used as a quick way to “do the right thing” and walk away from the pain of what we have done. We ask for forgiveness too quickly before we have heard the deep pain we might have caused. In other words we don’t STAY on the cross with Jesus in the Friday and suffer the harm we caused.
SATURDAY: We often ask for forgiveness before we have felt empathy for the person we have harmed. We often ask forgiveness to alleviate the discomfort because of our shame and the disconnect we are feeling - the not knowing how the relationship will pan out. Can we stay in the darkness with Jesus? Can we wait and trust in Him and not the quick fix? I remember the moment when I quit saying I’m sorry to my husband to alleviate the uncomfortableness of a conflict. Neither of us knew what to do with the unresolved-ness of the issue and stood in silence, waiting. But over time that silence made room for the Holy Spirit to move in our hearts toward abiding in Him and forgiveness.
Jesus stays with us and in us (1John). Knowing and believing this can enable us to stand in that uncomfortability of seeing how we have hurt someone and waiting/hoping for His answer/presence.
SUNDAY: As in The Cabin, new life comes, but not immediately, and not without death and suffering the loss. Resurrection came to our marriage in surprising ways! As we have suffered the harm and the pain we have caused each other. We have been able to trust and rejoice and play like never before. We are celebrating and living life more fully. We are now trying to live the Friday, Saturday, and Sunday that Jesus experienced…all of it. Just as Jesus asked us to do.
Change and movement toward ALL of what Jesus requires of us can bring a REAL forgiveness. And with forgiveness comes sorrow AND rejoicing. I have never felt more grief and consequently more freedom and joy as when Jesus began showing me what forgiveness was. And boy, the Holy Spirit left me in the Friday and Saturday for a LONG time.
Sometimes the cavernous hole between us needs something bigger than our apology to change. We can get stuck and all the brain power, logic, words, and own understanding can not carry us across the hole. FORGIVENESS IS ESSENTIAL and in its mysterious ways can begin to carry us back to each other... and change us to be more like Him, trusting in His abiding tenderness for us…always.